Thursday, November 25, 2010

What am I thankful for?

Thanksgiving is that time of year when im reminded constantly that today is some national holiday to slaughter turkeys and pretend everyone in a dysfunctional family loves each other to preserve a weak ass tradition. Oh what a joyful holiday it is.

So what am I thankful for this today? Im thankful that i didnt wake up with a hangover for one. Thankful for the 8x8 room my parents so resentfully let me sleep in. What im really thankful for in this room. It has a window! Im thankful for not having any shitty north carolina friends, because friends 'round here will use you then forsake you once they can no longer use you anymore. Im thankful for not having a girlfriend. Imagine if i did for just a second, then i would have to go to her parents house also, pretending to be thankful for allowing their daughter to date such a hateful fuck hole like myself, nothx. Im thankful for having the ability to lie and smile. Im thankful for the sale of beer, im thankful for marijuana prices being so fuckin expensive that i can only afford to be an alcoholic. Im thankful for not having a wife and children to beat while im drunk. Im thankful for my misfortune. Im thankful for being poor. Im thankful for blogger allowing me to tell others what im thankful for, so they also can be thankful they dont know me either. Im thankful for blackfriday, but kinda like.. wtf. WHERE IS WHITE FRIDAY! Black friday implies that only blacks take advantage of the sales because whites can afford the regular prices.. Im here to say THATS BS. I'm Caucasian and cant even afford the black friday's sales. So i think it should be called Poor Minority Friday. I would be thankful for that. Im thankful for my broke down car, and the fresh tires i just bought that slowly leak air. Im thankful for the slipping transmission because it allows me to be thankful im not walking yet. Im thankful for the soldiers who are fighting in a modern day war for oil conquest (renuable energy is just sooo hard -cries-) . Im thankful for n. Korea thinking their Chinese balls are huge. Im thankful for the impending nuclear holocaust. Im thankful for everyone who is apart of that. Im thankful for childish politics. Im thankful for the unjust goverment and laws we live by. Most importantly im thankful for inequality, starvation, chaos, mayhem, agony, and whores. With out any of those things the world would be so much worse, and i couldnt be thankful for the wasteful meal im about to eat and discard 75%  of the meal i didnt like into the trash. Take that hungry 3rd world countries. Your tears of self pitty make me thankful im not you.